According to wikipedia, a paradigm shift is a fundamental change in the basic concepts and experimental practices of a scientific discipline. My interpretation of it is that a person's paradigm shifts when they observe or realise something that fundamentally changes how they perceive everything around them. It feels like my head spins, in a good way, though. Everything (or nearly everything) suddenly makes (different) sense.
My paradigm shift is the realisation that there are 2 kinds of people: those who have not lost or re-found the love for themselves and those who have lost it and not yet found again. (And of course those, like me, who occasionally get a glimpse of self love but tend to lose sight of it.) The starting point is: we all come into this world with utter pure love for ourselves. It's through growing up and trying to fit in that we lose it.
This classification overrides the 'good' and 'bad' the 'us' and 'them' in my dictionary.
So, people who love themselves are patient. Kind. Have no issues with prioritisation. Feel present. Have grit and resilience. They experience the gift of life with gratitude and compassion. They exist, we have all seen them. But they have no urge to convince anyone else to join them yet they welcome all of us. You can feel it. See it in their eyes, the gateway to their soul.
And then there are those who have forgotten how to love themselves. But all of these people still need love an belonging. Since they do not remember how to cater to their need from within, they need the confirmation of love and belonging from the outside. From others. Being admired for looks, wealth or talent, having authority, teasing out gratitude from others, these are all maneuvers to gain love. I sometimes think about the issue of corruption, which often the takes of offering an unfair advantage to a family member or a friend over over the most competent person. I think the person committing an act of corruption is driven by a goodwill towards a person who in return offers them admiration and gratitude, a proxy of 'being loved'. By no means do I want to justify corruption. All I am saying that it would be great to approach the issue from a perspective of 'seeking love and belonging' (and therefore compassionately), rather than by judging. Judgement never seems to work. But it is a narrative we are a little too comfortable with. So let's try the mirror image of our template? Let's look at the good and the vulnerable within all people? And most importantly, within ourselves ;-)
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