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On loyalty

At times loyalty can come across as an overly traditional or conservative virtue. After all, we live in fast times, it's adaptability that matters most. Loyalty also implies a loss of freedom to act freely... or does it?

Loyalty - as per the dictionaries - is a feeling of support or duty, it is devotion. But you can be loyal to various things. What am I loyal to determines my priorities and can bring structure and clarity to my decisions and actions.

I can be loyal to a cause, like fairness, harmony, truth, forgiveness or other core values I could hold.

I could be loyal to an organisation, an employer, an association, a church - to any institution where I feel I belong or I aspire to feel that I belong.

I can be loyal to a person or a group of people. As we all have several people in our lives we'd like to live in alignment with, this can be a tricky balancing act if we want to please them all. To be loyal to my children, partner, parents, siblings, friends, manager or colleagues can entail trade offs, depending on what I perceive their expectation towards me is. This can be a crowded and confusing space. So better have a priority list of the people who matter most and clarity on how alignment looks like ;-)

Or: I can be loyal to myself. To my needs in this moment in time. They may evolve. I may be in general loyal to my cause (something most of us seek), but right now, being loyal to myself means I need to rest and replenish. Or I take care of another need of mine that I have been neglecting in the pursuit of loyalty towards things beyond me.

I would argue every decision I take can be plotted on a spiderweb. Who am I most loyal to when taking this decision? It could be a 10 out of 10 across all dimensions, although that does not happen often. When the plotting starts with the 'self', the rest will flow more naturally and I would argue this sets me up for more groundedness, more stability to stay on course. The 'self' here does not imply a disconnected ego, I mean the 'undercurrent', the truth we know in our hearts, the child in us that is in awe with the world and knows no time or man-made rules. It feels like swimming under water, feeling warm and safe, having faith in how things evolve. Loyalty, clarity, freedom - and love - coming from within.


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